Rain

The closer that we get to the holidays/Christmas the less it feels as though I can really enjoy the moments unless I am intentional about stopping to look, listen and feel as the moments continue to spill into my consciousness.  I guess it's all about choices.  Isn't it always?

In the same breath, I can also say that sometimes God "makes" the choices for you by allowing people or events happen in the course of the day to shock you or get your attention...to make you realize that although sometimes you DESPERATELY want to be in charge of your life and have some say in how it goes, you really don't.  The only choice you do have is what kind of attitude or perspective you hold on to during any given day.  Your emotions don't even get a vote.  They are just feelings.  YOU have them....no one else does.  And while others can try to understand and do their best to listen, no one really does.

unanswered questions

I know that we all deal with questions that roll around in our limited mental spaces that don't have any answers for and probably never will.  You know the ones that I mean...  But then there are the questions that are left unanswered while you are waiting for them to be answered.  It's always about your timing versus the timing of the Almighty.  He sees the whole tapestry and you only see just one or two of the threads, not even knowing if they are threads at all.  And you need to keep going through the day to day tasks, accepting that the answers will come or they won't come and you just don't know.  Sometimes you have to live with not knowing, and work on learning to be accepting and/or comfortable with not knowing.
In any case...it's still "not knowing".  It's still waiting.....still struggling and nothing that you say, don't say, feel, don't feel, do or don't do seems to change the "not knowing".  It can be a helpless state of being.

Prayer:  Lord, I'm in the "not knowing" season of my life.  Your Word says that You are "All Knowing", Almighty, Omnipresence.  Cause me to lean on YOUR Spirit, Your knowing and help me to be dependent on Your Bigness and be aware of my smallness.  Cuz this is just hard.  Help Lord.

Grateful

When God sends an unexpected gift, it's usually one of overwhelming proportion.  Today was one of those days.  Two boxes arrived that were overflowing with love, blessings and memories.  Some of which had stayed hidden in the deep recesses of my mind.  I am grateful God doesn't forget anything and some other sweet folks don't either.

So...I'm here to state I'm very grateful on many levels and in SO many ways for the tall, dark and handsome man that is an integral part of my heart and mind.  He has blessed me and continues to bless me beyond measure.  I am hoping to spend the rest of my life showing him, NOT just telling him how honored and blessed I am to be the lady in his life.

I am grateful for God teaching me and showing me in immeasurable ways what true Godly love is like and that He is so very patient with my learning, especially when I am VERY slow and stubborn.   Thank you God for your faithfulness, your mercy and your constant presence and love.

Thank you, my tall, dark and handsome for being patient with me and loving me every day in the beautiful way that you do.  I am blessed beyond what words can express.  You are my soulmate.

God's paintbrush

God is always surprising me with unexpected gifts at unexpected times.  This morning was one of most SPECTACULAR sunrises that I have ever seen in my life.  No one can tell me that the Almighty hand didn't paint this.  It was just too extraordinary to be explained by anything other than His paintbrush on the skies.  I share it with you.  Enjoy the magnificence and His GLORY!!
Thank you my sweet Jesus for giving me this scene to start my day.

meaning

Isn't life just a search for meaning? Don't we all ask ourselves either directly or indirectly the same questions every day?  Do I belong?  Am I safe?  What's the purpose for all of this?  And we all spend a great deal of time looking for meaning in things, relationships, experiences, alcohol, some sort of drug or addiction, mind games or a sorted number of other activities that we choose to engage in just to fill up time until we come to a place of peace.

Prayer:  Help God!!  I just don't get me or life.  Lead me to meaning.  Show me peace.  Show me Jesus.  Give me grace, grace and  more grace.  No one seems to understand my struggle or even comes close to getting it.  I'm struggling to cope.

rest

By definition rest is.. "to cease to work or movement in order to relax, refresh oneself,  or to restore strength".  But is this only referring to the physical definition?  What about the rest for the soul?  the spirit?  In Matthew 11:28 and 29 Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who are burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls".  And then in the Old Testament, God says, "Truly my soul finds rest in God; my salvation comes from him."  Psalm 62:1 and lastly from Hebrews 4:10, Paul writes "...for anyone who enters Gods's rest also rests from their works, just as God did from his".

So....first rest is a choice.  God even made this choice to do this on the seventh day.  So He is a model for us.  If we are to follow His lead, then rest is something that we can make a choice to do.
Secondly, Jesus invites us to make this choice by coming to Him when we need rest the most....when we are burdened.  I think that's physically, spiritually, emotionally or mentally or all of the above.  He goes on to say that He will "give" the rest.  It's something that we receive, not something we DO.  One can also make the inference that Jesus gives a kind of rest that is personally designed for each individual, depending on the person, the season of life and the need of your spirit and/or mind.
 Lastly, from the Old Testament passage it uses the word "truly".  God doesn't lie and He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.  So if the Bible says "truly" it means "surely" or to put it in terms that I can grasp, "for sure".   So....I can surely receive/find the rest that I need in God.  Salvation - wholeness, health, peace and rest--comes from Him.

So...to begin....we can choose to cease to work or move in order to relax or refresh oneself.  Then we can be open to receive the rest we need.  That too is a choice.   Then we are to "Come to Jesus".  There's choice again.  Prayer....coming to Jesus with our need.  He then can fill us with His salvation.

you

The metaphors for love could be as countless as the stars in the sky.  All of them equally valid because of the person feeling the love and because of the person being loved.

So...to my tall, dark and handsome, I pen these words.   They will be inadequate to express the depth of my feelings, but I hope you are able to get a sense of my heart and begin to comprehend the seriousness of my commitment to you, now and until I take my last breath.

When your voice permeates my being as we talk, I am centered.  I am reminded of who God made me to be, because you listen.  Then when I am able to feel your skin against mine, time seems to stand still and I enter a world of just you and me.....a place of comfort, sensuality, and knowing I am where I belong.  Right next to you.

Joy lavishes my heart when I hear your bold, gregarious laugh and I'm graciously reminded of the little boy inside of you that you are so protective of.

The words "I love you" can appear to be seemingly flippant as I say them every day.  However, they are ANYTHING but flippant.  Encompassing all that you are today and what God will help you to be in the future, I am here to be your partner, your friend and support.   I am honored to know you and walk with you, and consider it a true privilege  to refer to you as "MY" tall, dark and handsome.  I never in my wildest dreams thought God would give me someone with a depth and sincerity as you are.  I am truly blessed.  Thank you for allowing me opportunities to experience and enjoy the person that God has wired you to be.

I love you dear one.