Rain

The closer that we get to the holidays/Christmas the less it feels as though I can really enjoy the moments unless I am intentional about stopping to look, listen and feel as the moments continue to spill into my consciousness.  I guess it's all about choices.  Isn't it always?

In the same breath, I can also say that sometimes God "makes" the choices for you by allowing people or events happen in the course of the day to shock you or get your attention...to make you realize that although sometimes you DESPERATELY want to be in charge of your life and have some say in how it goes, you really don't.  The only choice you do have is what kind of attitude or perspective you hold on to during any given day.  Your emotions don't even get a vote.  They are just feelings.  YOU have them....no one else does.  And while others can try to understand and do their best to listen, no one really does.

unanswered questions

I know that we all deal with questions that roll around in our limited mental spaces that don't have any answers for and probably never will.  You know the ones that I mean...  But then there are the questions that are left unanswered while you are waiting for them to be answered.  It's always about your timing versus the timing of the Almighty.  He sees the whole tapestry and you only see just one or two of the threads, not even knowing if they are threads at all.  And you need to keep going through the day to day tasks, accepting that the answers will come or they won't come and you just don't know.  Sometimes you have to live with not knowing, and work on learning to be accepting and/or comfortable with not knowing.
In any case...it's still "not knowing".  It's still waiting.....still struggling and nothing that you say, don't say, feel, don't feel, do or don't do seems to change the "not knowing".  It can be a helpless state of being.

Prayer:  Lord, I'm in the "not knowing" season of my life.  Your Word says that You are "All Knowing", Almighty, Omnipresence.  Cause me to lean on YOUR Spirit, Your knowing and help me to be dependent on Your Bigness and be aware of my smallness.  Cuz this is just hard.  Help Lord.

Grateful

When God sends an unexpected gift, it's usually one of overwhelming proportion.  Today was one of those days.  Two boxes arrived that were overflowing with love, blessings and memories.  Some of which had stayed hidden in the deep recesses of my mind.  I am grateful God doesn't forget anything and some other sweet folks don't either.

So...I'm here to state I'm very grateful on many levels and in SO many ways for the tall, dark and handsome man that is an integral part of my heart and mind.  He has blessed me and continues to bless me beyond measure.  I am hoping to spend the rest of my life showing him, NOT just telling him how honored and blessed I am to be the lady in his life.

I am grateful for God teaching me and showing me in immeasurable ways what true Godly love is like and that He is so very patient with my learning, especially when I am VERY slow and stubborn.   Thank you God for your faithfulness, your mercy and your constant presence and love.

Thank you, my tall, dark and handsome for being patient with me and loving me every day in the beautiful way that you do.  I am blessed beyond what words can express.  You are my soulmate.