Okay, Lord....I know it's been one of the longest days I've had in a while. Thank you for giving me strength and energy for the day. Thank you for providing for all the things that I needed for the people and animals in my life, through people that I didn't expect you to use. Thank you for your constant LOVE, presence and wisdom. Many times, the words that came out of my mouth were not my words, but yours, speaking for me, because I was too tired or just simply didn't know what to say. Thank you for your ever flowing grace. I don't deserve it.
Prayer: Thanks is all I have to offer Lord. It seems so inadequate compared to you have given today. Thank you for loving me.
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
Tuesday, October 27, 2015
A Blessed Day
This has been a hectic but blessed day. Got one last hug from the love of my life this morning. Watched him smile at me and say "I love you" as he walked out to his car. Wow!! What a beautiful, gentle wonderful man. He's helped me to grow in ways that I didn't know that I needed to grow. He says things to me that I didn't know that I needed to hear and he helps me to see myself in a way that is different than I've looked before. His kindness OVERWHELMS me. It's as though God is sending his GRACE through this man in the most amazing and needed ways.
I'm not saying that I'm not sad that he isn't standing close enough for me to hug, touch and love on, because I CERTAINLY am. The love is deeper than it ever has been, with anyone other person on the planet.. It's intimate, comfortable and I'm at peace with my relationship with him. I know deep down in my being of the peace I have about this relationship.
I know that I'm not in the most ideal of spots. The heart hurt is real. I'm lonely for his touch, his gentle spirit near me, but these past few days were some of the best of my life...and what's so different almost strange about it is that we didn't do anything really out of the ordinary, we just enjoyed each other company, walked through ordinary days, and loved each other, talked to each other and really LIVED......sharing life.
I miss you baby....more than you can possibly imagine. I'm committed to you and will never stop enjoying who God has wired you to be. I value you, have high respect for who you are and never want to leave your side. I love you with my heart and soul.
Prayer: Lord God, thank you for blessing me with wisdom, energy for the day, the love of my children and the innumerable blessings that you've given me. Thank you for sending me love, love that I didn't know that I needed from a man so beautiful and kind. Thank you Jesus.
I'm not saying that I'm not sad that he isn't standing close enough for me to hug, touch and love on, because I CERTAINLY am. The love is deeper than it ever has been, with anyone other person on the planet.. It's intimate, comfortable and I'm at peace with my relationship with him. I know deep down in my being of the peace I have about this relationship.
I know that I'm not in the most ideal of spots. The heart hurt is real. I'm lonely for his touch, his gentle spirit near me, but these past few days were some of the best of my life...and what's so different almost strange about it is that we didn't do anything really out of the ordinary, we just enjoyed each other company, walked through ordinary days, and loved each other, talked to each other and really LIVED......sharing life.
I miss you baby....more than you can possibly imagine. I'm committed to you and will never stop enjoying who God has wired you to be. I value you, have high respect for who you are and never want to leave your side. I love you with my heart and soul.
Prayer: Lord God, thank you for blessing me with wisdom, energy for the day, the love of my children and the innumerable blessings that you've given me. Thank you for sending me love, love that I didn't know that I needed from a man so beautiful and kind. Thank you Jesus.
Sunday, October 25, 2015
What glorious weather for a fall day! The sun was shining and very few clouds. I was blessed to go to worship this morning with the man I love. I got to sit next to him, feel his arm around me and feel the love between us. I thought that it couldn't get any better. Worshipping God with a man that He has blessed me with. I have two beautiful children...both gifts.
Then...we started talking about the future and I started feeling afraid and listening to the Enemy.... that was dumb on my part. Then my dear sweet man reminded me that I CAN'T listen to the Enemy. I have to CHOOSE to believe in God more than I believe in my feelings, more than I believe in what I see with my natural eyes and more than I even believe in him.
So...my take away for the day is this...I don't want to continue living in the same fears from the past that I have been living with for the past many years. I need to pray. I need to pray simple, heartfelt prayers throughout each day, thanking the Almighty God for all that He continues to give me, all that He HAS already given me and believe His Word before my own thinking. His Word says in Jeremiah 29:11 that He has a plan for me, a plan for good. I also need to pray asking for help in simple ways as I travel through each day, because, even though I THINK that I can handle all that life is going to throw at me, I was reminded in a small, but extremely loving way, that I will NOT be able to handle it all on my own.
I need to follow the same peace that I have felt since I began this journey. God hasn't taken away the peace, so I am going to continue to keep believing this man is the "the one", no matter what kind of darts are thrown my way.
Prayer: It's me Lord. Help...help me depend on YOU, not me. Remind me that I'm NOT God, YOU are. Remind me (because I'm slow) that YOU love me. In the power and righteousness of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Then...we started talking about the future and I started feeling afraid and listening to the Enemy.... that was dumb on my part. Then my dear sweet man reminded me that I CAN'T listen to the Enemy. I have to CHOOSE to believe in God more than I believe in my feelings, more than I believe in what I see with my natural eyes and more than I even believe in him.
So...my take away for the day is this...I don't want to continue living in the same fears from the past that I have been living with for the past many years. I need to pray. I need to pray simple, heartfelt prayers throughout each day, thanking the Almighty God for all that He continues to give me, all that He HAS already given me and believe His Word before my own thinking. His Word says in Jeremiah 29:11 that He has a plan for me, a plan for good. I also need to pray asking for help in simple ways as I travel through each day, because, even though I THINK that I can handle all that life is going to throw at me, I was reminded in a small, but extremely loving way, that I will NOT be able to handle it all on my own.
I need to follow the same peace that I have felt since I began this journey. God hasn't taken away the peace, so I am going to continue to keep believing this man is the "the one", no matter what kind of darts are thrown my way.
Prayer: It's me Lord. Help...help me depend on YOU, not me. Remind me that I'm NOT God, YOU are. Remind me (because I'm slow) that YOU love me. In the power and righteousness of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Saturday, October 24, 2015
Today's Takeaway
It's been the end of an absolutely lovely day. Spending time laughing and loving my favorite people in the world is a gift from heaven! I got a chance to hold hands with the man I love with my heart as we walked and talked about life....I saw both of my children laugh and hear them giggle. I made homemade pizza and made time for a short nap to rest my mind. All of these are such beautiful blessings. God is SO good. I have nothing to complain about.
So, is this this what grace is all about? God keeps loving me, when I stay away from Him, or stop talking to Him? He just keeps sending love in so many ways and forms that I can't help but think of him and thank Him for his love. Scripture states in Psalm 59:16 "But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble".
Life is made so complex by humans. I don't think that God intends it to be that way. In the moments of silence and quiet times with the ones that are held most dear, true life and love is found in the simple, in the quiet, in the whispers of life. Not in the busy, or the complex. Thank you Lord for the your constant gentle love and reminders as I walk through each day.
So, is this this what grace is all about? God keeps loving me, when I stay away from Him, or stop talking to Him? He just keeps sending love in so many ways and forms that I can't help but think of him and thank Him for his love. Scripture states in Psalm 59:16 "But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble".
Life is made so complex by humans. I don't think that God intends it to be that way. In the moments of silence and quiet times with the ones that are held most dear, true life and love is found in the simple, in the quiet, in the whispers of life. Not in the busy, or the complex. Thank you Lord for the your constant gentle love and reminders as I walk through each day.
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